A love so hidden that not even the heart knows
by RoseScor90
Summary: Lorcan had always loved Lily Potter. And she had always stayed away from him. He had never bothered about the reason. When, by an accident, he comes to know, will he do some thing about it? Or will his cowardice win in the end? For the multi chap chal!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters…**

Chapter1: The rainy day musings

It was raining again. Lorcan sighed as he once again tried concentrating on the book in front of him. This time though, he couldn't blame the subject of the book for his lack of focus. Transfiguration was his best subject and any thing that had to do with it had always captured his full attention.

Admitting that the book wasn't making any more sense than it did half an hour ago, he closed it with a sigh, reverting instead, to his thoughts of his brother. And his friend.

Lily Potter. The most sought, most envied, the most protected person in the whole of wizarding world. Merlin must have been under the insanity curse when he made him fall for the one girl he could never reach.

They say men fall for women who resemble their mother. He must have been unique; he fell for the woman named after his mother.

Knowing that she was unreachable did nothing to ease his love for her. It still occupied a major portion of his heart, her face, her laughter, her eyes.

Her eyes, that dark shade of pure chocolate, which would light up on seeing his brother, which would close up on seeing him.

Not that he had made any effort in the past years to make her like him. He had mostly stayed away from her, and when they had had to meet, he had not been eager enough to elicit her interest. And she had assumed that he was your every day nerdy Ravenclaw.

Then there had always been the rumor about Molly Weasley.

Molly Weasley, a co-ravenclaw, was his long time friend and confidant. That's all it had ever been though there had been no want of rumors about them.

Seeing the portrait hole door open and his friend enter, he smiled lightly at her, the biggest greeting he ever gave any one.

"You're in one of your moods" Molly proclaimed as she dropped her books on the table before him and sat down on the couch before the window sill on which he was seated.

"Hmm"

He had taken to staring out the window again.

"Thinking about my cousin again?"

"Don't. What if some one hears you?"

"You don't have to worry. I have one too many cousins for any of them to guess that it is Lil…"

"Sh…" he interrupted her before she could complete her sentence.

"You aren't going to hide away from her forever, are you?"

"I can, if I want to"

"Do you, though?"

"You know the answer to that, Molly. But, I'm not delusive. Not as much as my mother, bless her. She might not even know my as any body other than her friend's brother and I have no intention of making a fool of myself to get her to notice me"

"You could at least speak to her! Rather than staying away and acting all restrained"

"It doesn't matter, Molly. I don't want to waste my efforts on some thing that will never work out"

"How could you say that? You don't even know unless you try!"

"There are certain things that you know, Molly. Like the fact that you are in love with my brother"

"That's not the point now, Lor. This is our last year here. The least you can do is give this a try! Seven is the magical number, right?"

Just then the portrait hole opened and his brother, Lysander entered.

Seeing the two Scamander brothers, one would think that they were brothers and not twins. They were not identical, as far as twins went.

Lorcan's hair was long and shaggy whereas Lysander's just grazed his collar.

Lorcan had his father's deep green eyes but Lysander's were the same dreamy shade of blue as Luna Scamander's.

Lorcan's face was long and aristocratic with well defined cheek bones, where as Lysander had the typical prankster look.

"Hey Lor! Guess what I just did?"

"Took a swim in the Black Lake?"

"Funny! But, no. We, Lily and I, just completed an amazing prank against the Slytherins! Wait till tomorrow! You're gonna laugh your head off. Good night! See ya Molly!"

As Lysander ascended the stairs to the dorm, Lysander shook his head, thanking the gods above that they weren't identical twins with the same character.

A/n: First chap up! Not much humor, I know! Have some patience and you will not be disappointed!

R&R!


	2. Commonroom conversations

Disclaimer: Not JK…

Chapter 2: Commonroom conversations

The next day, Lorcan entered the Great hall for breakfast to find it in a state of disaster.

He looked for the source of the mayhem and found them, not very far from the centre of it, looking smug and enjoying every bit of the reproach they were receiving as much as they had, no doubt, enjoyed the prank.

Professor Longbottom had just finished his speech on responsibility and was going into the punishment mode when Lorcan cut in.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Mr Scamander?"

"Professor McGonagall wants you to help her"

"Oh! Detention for a month and hundred points from each" he said dismissively before rushing to help the Headmistress.

"Thanks, Lor! I'd surely have fallen asleep if you hadn't come"

"I just thought I'd save Professor Longbottom some energy. He should have realized by now that it's no use with you two"

"He thinks we'll change sometime"

"Every teacher's daydream. Is the food safe?" Lorcan left, moving away to his own table after assuring himself.

It was a queer sight, seeing him sit at the table, alone, eating his food casually, regardless of the chaos around him.

"What's with your brother?"

"What about him?" Lysander asked distractedly, staring at the befuddled faces of the Professors who were futilely trying to reverse the spell that they had placed on the Hall, turning it into a barn, the floors covered with hay.

Anyone who placed their feet on the hay began sliding, as if it was made of soap bubbles, leading to a catastrophic skating ring in the middle of the Hall.

As soon as that had been reversed, the students began clucking like chicken, unable to stop.

Now the Great Hall really resembled a barn, together with the noise and the scenery.

"Why is he so remote all the time?"

"That's just how he is"

Lily left it at that, turning to more important things like planning the next prank.

Molly Weasley was the last person to come into the Great Hall that day, and her eyes sought out Lorcan, who was seated at the Ravenclaw table.

"Hey, Lor! What's all this?"

"The brilliant prank of my twin and his friend"

"Aw! I missed the show again" she said sadly as she sat down opposite him and began to eat.

"Are they trying thematic pranks now?"

"Thematic?"

"The last time it was a jungle. This time a barn. What would be next? A sea shore?"

"Better bring the rudders" he said calmly and continued eating, listening to Molly's increasingly weird guesses at what the next prank would be.

That night, Lily came to the Ravenclaw tower in search of Lysander.

She waited outside the door for sometime before she got impatient enough to try the door.

"Why does the world go around?"

"Because what goes around comes around?"

"You're getting better at it, young lady"

The door opened to admit her.

She felt oddly happy, since this was the first time she had answered the door's questions right.

Lorcan was sitting on an armchair, reading a book intently, not realizing that she was there.

"Lorcan?"

Her quiet, timid voice startled him, and he took a few seconds to look up at her.

She appeared hesitant and a bit wary, it being the first time she was speaking to him without the catalytic presence of Lysander.

"Lily" he greeted her, though there was no smile to accompany it.

"Lysander…"

"I think he went out sometime ago. He said he wanted to ask Molly something or the other"

"Oh, thanks"

He went back to his book, while she contemplated whether to leave the place or to wait.

Deciding to wait, she sat on a couch, looking at the fire that was burning.

It wasn't crackling like it did in the Gryffindor commonroom, but was noiseless, exuding a calm that she associated with the particular Ravenclaw that was seated beside her.

"Are you always like this?"

Her question was earnest, and it took him a minute to gather what she was asking him.

"Like?"

"Always so reserved?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

Lorcan sighed, placing a bookmark on the page he was reading before setting aside the book he had been reading.

"There has to be a reason to why I am…'reserved'?"

She nodded her head, interested in hearing what he would say.

"Then it'd have to be the fact that I like silence"

"But, how can you like silence? Don't you feel lonely?"

"Loneliness can be a blessing when you want to accomplish things"

"Things?"

"Like reading a book. Would you prefer the Gryffindor commonroom or an isolated black lake if you had a good book that you wanted to read?"

She nodded her head, understanding what he meant.

Of course she had known he'd have a reason. He was the most sensible person she had known.

It was all second hand information, but Lysander could be trusted when it came to matters concerning his brother.

"I see. But you could try to be a bit more…conversational, for a change"

He only gave her a smile in answer. It was clear enough that he disagreed.

"So, what do you read?" she asked, trying to continue the conversation, now that she had him talking without noticing he was.

"Books?"

She hadn't expected that. She had expected a big list of the books he liked and a recommendation as to what she should try.

The fact that he had a sense of humor, wry and sarcastic as it was, hindered her thoughts for a second.

She recovered quickly though.

"What kind of books?"

_Why is she asking me so many questions!_

"What's your favorite subject?"

"I haven't answered your other question yet"

"Oh, I know. I just thought I could figure it out if I knew what your favorite subject was"

"Transfiguration"

"Are you an animagi?"

Animagi! Did she know I was an animagi, or was that another one of her random questions?

She's still looking at me expectantly. Guess she wants a direct answer for that one.

"That's too advanced. Not many could…"

"I know, but doesn't that make it more appealing?"

She was being too…Gryffindor-ish again.

"Oh, surely not! Even you'd have thought about it sometime. Admit it!"

Did I say that out loud?

"May be when I first got to know about it. I know better than to try it now"

"So you've tried before?"

"Is the interrogation over or are the FBI on their way?"

Oh, dang! I hadn't meant for that to sound so rude. No use now, her face is already apologetic.

"I'm sorry. I tend to get over curious"

"No, that's fine"

"Ly seems to be taking a long time. I'd better leave. Tell him I'd be ready to kill him the next time I see him for making me wait"

Her face is completely solemn, which makes me doubt if that was just an empty statement.

"Sure, I'll pass it on"

_You messed up probably the only opportunity you got with her._

Guess there's no escaping mind voices now.

A/n: Review!


	3. The Discovery

Disclaimer: Not JK…

A/n: Written for the Professor Flitwick's Prompt of the Day thread. Prompt for 20th January "Stay with me"

Chapter 3: The Discovery

Lily Potter paced the length of the corridor furiously, biting her lips and her fingernails alternatively. Lysander sat on one of the chairs by the wall, his face in his hands. A low murmur of something that sounded like swear words could be heard, and Lily stopped her pacing to snap at him.

"My ears are bleeding, Ly. Stop swearing. He'll be alright" but her shifty eyes proved just how much she believed that statement. She continued to pace nervously and only stopped when Molly came rushing through the corridor. Molly had gone to inform Lorcan's parents through owl, since Lysander had refused to leave his twin until he knew for certain that there was nothing to worry about.

"You're going to feel dizzy. Sit down. He'll be fine; no bludger is strong enough to get through his hard head" Lily smiled slightly, and did as she was asked. Only to stand up immediately as the doors opened and the nurse came out. She wasn't sporting a somber expression, so he should be fine. Or that was what Lily guessed before her anxiety completely took over and she rushed as fast as Lysander to the doors.

"He'll be fine. He'll need to stay here for a while but he's out of danger" a collective sigh was heard as the three rushed into the Infirmary. Lily was the last of all to enter, a sudden inexplicable hesitation smothering her overwhelming worry. She wasn't exactly close to Lorcan, but she had been the cause for him getting admitted here. She had felt guilty was all. She stood by the door unnoticed until Lorcan, recognizing her, waved her over.

"Hello Lily! Thanks for saving me" it was a miracle that he spoke so much at all, what with his I-count-the-words-I-speak-and-haven't-crossed-a-thousand-yet principle. He sounded genuinely grateful, but it only served to increase her guilt. She had been the one who had hurt him, not saved him!

"I'm really sorry, Lorcan. I wasn't looking where I was flying. I was too stuck on the snitch. I'm so damn sorry, I…" he held a hand up, which stopped her rant which wasn't much of an apology at all either way.

"Everything's fine, Lily. You caught me when I fell, didn't you? At the cost of losing the match too, huh?" he turned to Lysander who nodded enthusiastically.

"It's just the first match. We'll catch up" she replied decisively, and Lorcan chuckled. It seemed that whatever potion he had been given had made him more open, talkative and just a tad bit less frightening.

The three of them spent the rest of the day there, chatting away. Actually, it was just Lysander and Molly that talked a bunch, while Lorcan just sat there listening, like usual. Lily, for her part, remained just as silent. Not because it was in her nature to be so, but because she was too bust watching Lorcan. It was rather ironic that she'd notice him right after bludgeoning into him during a Quidditch match and not before, during the fifteen odd years of their acquaintance. Ironic indeed.

She had always imagined him to be the arrogant arsehole types, but now she realized that she had stereotyped him just as quickly as people judged her. He wasn't the type to spell out every thought he had, he never spoke much more than a few sentences, never showed many expressions on his face. But his eyes, those unfathomable blue depths of them made up for all that quick enough. She had never seen a pair of better expressive eyes. It was a small wonder noone realized that, a miracle she hadn't.

Just as she was thinking that, Lorcan's eyes turned discretely to hers. Not that the other two noticed, lost in their argument about NEWTs as they were. Lysander was steadily voting for abolishing them. He smiled at her, his lips remaining straight. She just knew he was smiling, because that light in his eyes always seemed to flare up whenever he thought something was amusing. She didn't know how she knew that, or even if it would be considered creepy that she could read his emotions so well from his eyes after only a half day in his presence. Probably.

"Shoot! We have a party to go to in ten minutes! I'm sure you're glad you're hurt now, Lorcan, aren't you?"

"Sure, I am. Those things you drag me to…" he shook his head, clearly expressing his discontent.

"Okay! I gotta go! You know you're invited Lily. Just knock on the door and one of us will get you, yeah?" Lorcan took off like an arrow from the bow, but Molly stayed behind for a few more minutes before she too left to join the festivities.

Lorcan sighed and leaned a bit on the bedpost, and jumped when he heard footsteps nearing his bed. He'd thought everyone had gone. Opening his eyes, he saw that Lily was approaching him slowly, hesitantly.

"I thought you left with them" he spoke slowly, afraid that she'd run away any second now. But she only walked towards him, her steps becoming surer and faster. She sat on the chair beside the bed before she replied.

"No, I'm really not in the mood for all the commotion today"

"Because you lost?"

"No. It's just…I can't explain it"

"I understand. We all have our off days" the two of them remained silent after that, Lorcan staring at the window, Lily staring at the bedspread, not knowing what to say. Finally, gathering up her courage, she said,

"I'm really sorry for that Lorcan. I wasn't watching where I was going and it was an accident, honestly. I…"

"I know, Lily. I don't hold this against you, you know that. Is that what has been troubling you today? You seemed very thoughtful today and I thought something was wrong" he had noticed? Had he also noted that her eyes hadn't strayed away from his for the better part of the day? The very thought brought an embarrassed blush to her cheeks.

"No, I just wanted to apologise one more time before I left. Off to the commonroom to sulk now" she stood up to leave and Lorcan would normally have let her go, watching her retreating form, wishing that she had stayed a bit longer. But something, may be the potion the nurse had given him, was making him bold, making him call out to her.

"Lily?" she turned around, wondering what he could have to tell her.

"You said you would be bored, right?"

"Yeah! I have little to no work to do and I'm not in the mood for much studying today so, yeah. Why?"

"Stay with me"

"What?" her incredulous tone clearly suggested that she thought she was hallucinating. The sight of her astounded face amused him, and he chuckled.

"Stay in the Infirmary with me. I have nothing to do here and since I'm not supposed to go to sleep, I need company" he smiled at her in that oh so alluring way, and Lily found herself nodding before she even comprehended his words fully.

She came back to sit on the chair, and it was a bit awkward between them before Lily's conversational side took over and she started speaking with him.

They spoke all through the night until the nurse kicked her out. Lorcan was much the same as she had assumed sans the conceited behavior. He never spoke much, but when he did, whatever he said made a lot of sense. He wasn't humorous, but his sarcastic wit more than made up for it.

Lily found herself smiling as she went back to the commonroom, all her sulky mood evaporating.

A/n: Please do review!


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